Enigma

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Rooted in the Greek word for “riddle”

I steady myself

in the middle of the stream

So much rain

I wish I’d worn back straps on my flip flops

standing in the strong current

but

 I’ll not wander in the side eddies

where the slickest algae

coats the surface of the stones

still idling there

passing time as if singular

feigning reflection

 an intoxicated accumulation

of over fertilized organic matter

 girdling themselves

as if they could hold on to the ground

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My days have been emptying

full of the feeling that I’m living

in two separate realities

  More than a waiting game

too much hard evidence

A pack that needs to be cleaned out

and made into a traveling case of essentials

fit for lifting off and moving

in even faster flowing water.

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photo credit: Russell Tomlin Flickr

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As a child

swing

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I remember

arms and legs

working

everything into my mouth

pebbles dirt bees

I sang the earth

running rubber knees

kicking the sky swing

standing where the rain just……..stopped

laden fruit trees

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I was used to shining light in the dark

glasses in the sun

hiding blindness

running ahead

while looking back

I trip upon the truth

~

now that I am on

the outside of the mountain

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I’m trusting

that

love knows

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photo credits: http://www.flickr.com/photos/jp_42/4930340343/

Sight

biking

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I visually see with my eyes.

I view the world around me and decipher

the meaning of what I see.

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I can view what others see

but

I will never see

my own eyes

seeing

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just because

I think

I do

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This is a fine puzzle.  In a flash of insight I understood it … but then I’d lose it.

I took my bike out for the first time this season after cleaning and oiling the chain. I was being cautious checking out how the gears had handled storage and neglect, but I was glad to be away from my computer, as I wound my way through a wooded path along the river.

Thoughts of the puzzle returned as I rode along.  I couldn’t disregard it. My sixth sense was holding on for further observation. How did it fit in? Did it fit in? Was it just nonsense?

I’ve been learning to float along with this sixth sense, in an ongoing dialogue that inserts itself now and again, apart from my own referenced musings.

I know a dialogue is technically considered a conversation but I still regard these out of my usual context insights as a dialogue because they prompt a reciprocal response on my part.

So… as I’m riding along the trail, I become aware that….I do think I am seeing my own eyes seeing. It is happening right now! I am clearly experiencing seeing my own eyes seeing.

It is a normal sensation. Very normal, and I check all the mental parameters. But since it has been posed as a puzzle I am challenged to see where this leads.

Then I understood.

By experiencing seeing myself seeing, even from the inside, I was observing myself. Quantum physics tells us that there is no such thing as an observer.

Even of our own self, I wonder?

What if I shift my perception and….engage? Fully. No filters. No verb tenses, past, present, future. No self reflection. So I did.

Be the verb… and I realize this is a visceral way of experiencing the world I am also familiar with. We all are… particularly when surrounded by the beauty of Nature or in new cultural surroundings. When experiencing speed or other physical sensations that require body awareness.  In practiced stillness. In the artistic zone.

We call it peak experience when this way of perceiving knocks us out of our habitual physical perception.

The shift in perception was immediate. It extended to others I passed as well…an easy smile, a relaxation in body language, an openness.

This physically engaged way of perceiving automatically begets a shared experience and I remembered this has been true on every other similar occasion when directly engaging.

Am I able to maintain this perception?  It comes and goes but, with practice, it is becoming easier to recognize and switch. And now with answering this puzzle, I have an experiential touchstone.

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