Microbial Fantasia #1

Scan_2~

How many times will I shed raw and return?

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Or is it a stronger current

amorphously assembling and deconstructing

as I unwittingly rally

behind the porosity of thought

the seduction of words

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I am a small planet

a symbiotic microbial world

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My peripheral orbit

 flings so far in its trajectory

that now

the axis is nearly invisible.

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I can only feel it…

Imagining

this bright nucleus of love

teeming with life…

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Tantra involves a very powerful substance, which is buddha-nature, or our enlightened nature, eating us from the inside out rather than being reached by stripping away layers from the outside.

 Crazy Wisdom by Chögyam Trungpa

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“If something burns your soul with purpose and desire, it’s your duty to be reduced to ashes by it. Any other form of existence will be yet another dull book in the library of life.”
― Charles Bukowski

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Poem and sketch by j.h.white. …..I am aware that microbes are single cell organisms.  In representing my relationship with them in this series though,  I prefer immersion without thought, surrendering to the imaginative, perceptual and sensate possibilities.   Symbiotic microcosmic navigation amongst my tribes….xxoo

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Pencil noir #6

complexity~

lines

tangles

layers

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not quite

almost

maybe

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no linear way to truth

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Letting it fall apart and seeing where it comes back together. I’m taking a short break … an end of summer pilgrimage to the coast. No computer, no pencils. See you all in a week or so….love you….Jana xxoo

Pencil noir #5

ebola workers~

I want to understand my part is in this tragedy. I see these images every day…..the white suits, the latrine green or bubblegum pink plastic gloves.

I stare at the photo from NBC World News.  I’d googled face masks worn in epidemics after listening to an NPR broadcast about the Liberian aide workers who have taken the job of bringing in the dead. How does one comprehend such a thing?

I decided to draw one of the photos…to find the spaces between the forms…to make this intimate in some way. It becomes a meditation as I concentrate on the crisp plastic suits, the individual postures of the men, the dark slits behind the masks. I breath in, paying attention to the act of drawing what I see.

I breath out. I begin to feel I am breathing for the aide workers who are praying that they remain protected within those suits.

I breath in. I breath out. I feel as if I am breathing now for the ones in the bags. The ones who are no longer breathing. I breath to ease their passage in death. I breath for the loved ones, the children left behind. I keep breathing and concentrating.

I begin mixing the colors for the gloves. Zinc white, phthalo turquoise, a little Jenkins green. I’m almost finished. While applying the paint to the gloves, however,  I am overcome. I watch as all my own sorrows rise to the surface. I realize now that sorrow is simply sorrow.  I am unable to separate one sorrow from another.

But through this experience I have learned one personal way to be with what is happening in the world I live in and am a part of. Each moment as I breath in, as I breath out, life presents itself.  This becomes my prayer….my quiet revolution.

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Here is the link to the NPR (National Public Radio) episode. It’s one of the more human articles and well worth a look.

http://www.npr.org/blogs/goatsandsoda/2014/08/28/343479917/they-are-the-body-collectors-a-perilous-job-in-the-time-of-ebola

 

After the fire

fire dreaming 2Fire dreaming . June 2013

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Imagining sparks from earth’s stones

I envisioned the extension

of light

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Coalescing with heat

I opened like a flower

once again

to the erogenous

seduction of words

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After the fire

the waiting

seeds

are poised

as I gaze into the unknown

placing my trust

in the river

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