The deep has always loved me

deep woods

~

The red tailed hawk still perfect but road killed the colors of fall

The drifting snow burying the uphill windows to lit transoms

The absolute quiet of white

 The starving deer the dogs ran down in that hardest of winters

The deer’s bones in the morgue of the freezer until I would bury the bones in Spring

The brush fires I tended that burned hot or low for days under late snow or Spring rain

The old ghost tricking me in dreams to remember our children born of plunder and rape

The gourds that looked like the swollen bellies of whales

The purge of the creek in spring run off stripping bark clean from tumbling dead trees

The surprise of the rising waters climbing my calves the ground saturated to jelly

The path we called Cat Butt turned into a river the sound wild and competing with returning brown geese

A lightening flash snaking the grounding wire silencing the music playing inside with a preacher’s thunder

The swath cut through the static of long berry brambles catching hold and refusing to let go

The oldest grapevine living with the elder pine protecting each other with their roots suckling water from the bog

The young maples I sang with as I learned their grove’s language

The low valley road no one wanted to travel that opened my throat to the sound of a vowel’s reaching

The last call and thumping cry shock wave of each tree falling as loggers clear cut nearby

The hummingbird sitting in stillness on the tip of the branchless dead tree each summer’s day at four

The oceans of colored mushrooms swelling the deep woods just that one wet season

The bed of lace and leaves tatted by oak’s tannin where I lay in surrender to soft rain

 The purple woman’s hands of black cohosh rising from wet soil dressed in the mysteries of Spring

                ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Photo: Deep Woods by Nicholas_T  ( https://c2.staticflickr.com/8/7296/8847022426_1d8de04c8c_b.jpg )

Light

shadowing all poets

looking for voice

Outdistancing condensations of time

Treading lightly upon soiled shores

Eroding titled consensus

Unifying mismatched ethos

Upending obscurity

Surprising bare feet

~

“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

danser_sa_vie

“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

Photo credit: http://www.unidivers.fr/centre-pompidou-danser-sa-vie-2311-204-2012/

opening wider

to encompass the memory of lost ones

vital in images but

~ gone ~

 left to take breath

from air thick with the litter

of indifference,

resist making flesh from synthesis

~ holding ~

 balance in the

narrowing

It’s the women

~

They build sturdy houses

dense

set too close together

Tactful queries like origami darts

traverse the narrow spaces

~

It’s the women

the older ones first

I bring them warm water

They look in their silk panties for one drop of blood. A sign?

I smell

only urine

~

My powder blue coat has stains from breakfast.

I remember when my sheets smelled like cheese

wrapped around my swollen breasts every time I dreamt

of my stolen child.

~

A mirror is still flat

even if

in it

I can see what is behind me.

~

I have left my face on the wall

no one can see my terror

~

It’s the women….the older ones first

I am young

I am nothing

~

“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

It's the women

“””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

Hear me

~

You cannot return

to defile

the birthing of intimacy

within you.

~

My body is not a graffiti wall

absorbing the mark

of your disconnect.

~

The lack of boundaries you impose

will never dissuade the love

that takes us continually back to itself

as it births us anew.

~

Hear me

~

I am you.

But in this act

of willful indifference

you

are

not

me

~

 this seed, so stung

 germinating without sun

 grown from biting roots

 ungrounded in pain

 birthing emptiness

  returns to earth as dust

 as dust

 as dust

“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

One Billion Rising

This poem was written for everyone who has been sexually abused….men, women and children. It is also for the abusers…those who clothe their own sorrow in indifference.

It is not a poem of exclusion. It is statement of strength and a prayer for the return to a sense of self and connection.

All aspects of sexual abuse come from the same seed. A seed that needs to lay fallow, bleach in the sun, and return to the earth as dust.

medium_1202156133

“”””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/henrygrey/1202156133/”>henry grey</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a&gt; <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a&gt;